Homeschooling: Answering THE question

WEll, if you have homeschooled long (or even short) then you have been asked THE question. Actually, THE question comes in all forms but it basically means the same thing. Different forms of THE question that you may encounter: 1)I could never homeschool (which is really a veiled question asking "How in the world do you homeschool?")2) Are you still homeschooling? How is that going? 3) do your kids like homeschooling? 4) HOw do you like homeschooling? 5) How does homeschooling work? 6) (Posed by those who are accustomed to stating exactly what they mean) "You must be nuts" (which really means, "I can't stand to be around my kids for 5 minutes let alone all day") ;-)

I have answered these and other questions posed by the curious, the friendly, the interested and the only being polite crowd. I find my family closest to me does not even ask, maybe because I talk so much I generally tell them everything they want to know and many things they could care less about in the course of our normal conversations. But I have many aquaintances that I will run into periodically that ask; either out of true interest or just to fill that awkward void at the beginning of a chance encounter at the grocery store.

At the beginning of our homeschool I was so self consious that I always answered this question in the same way. Pasting a smile on my face and saying "just great!" everytime it came up. Especially if the acquaintance was someone I knew from my tenure substituting and working as an aide in the local private school. I had to prove my ability right? I had to defend my precious husbands honor for his allowing us to educate our kids in this crazy way! I simply had to ensure that others know how smart my kids are and how wonderful homeschooling is, right? To tell the truth, that answer, with the fake pasty smile always got the same result. The other person would nod their head numbly, return the pasty smile and quickly change the subject or the direction they were headed... away from me. perhaps they KNEW that nothing every goes "Just great!" NOTHING. And I think we ALL know that anything worth doing generally goes VERY WRONG at times while we are working out how to do it!

I decided a while back to do something dangerous. Completely wild and out there! I decided to start being honest when I answer THE question. GASP!!! "NO", you are saying, "nobody wants to know the truth! They are just asking to be polite!" Well, that is the case sometimes, but I have found out since "coming out" that the reality is that lots of people DO care. And when I open up and am honest in my answer then it gives a humanity to homeschooling that my pasty smiled false sense of peace did not portray. Now when people ask how it's going I tell them. I don't bemoan my mistakes or pour out my fears, but I do tell them the truth in a nutshell. I tell them that We love homechooling and we hate it! That it is scary and fun! That I worry over what resources to use and pray about challenges that we face. I tell them that when I'm not freaking out, I'm having the time of my life! And yes, I do both, FREAK OUT, and HAVE A BLAST!

Do you know what I discovered? People appreciate the truth. I have found since transforming my answer that I will stand in the aisle at the grocery store longer with a acquaintance that I haven't seen in a while. That once I tell them I struggle but perservere, they open up and share their fears, joys and life. They see our homeschool and family differently and they see that homeschooling isn't some perfect alternative that they can not attain, but a choice that works for some families. Generally they accept that we are just different, not weird like the thought, but different and it's all good!

Now of course some people will always think we're crazy... those people don't even ask about it... To those I give the pasty smile as I pass with my kids in the store and politely discuss the weather.